I am sure that most of you reading this have in one way or another heard the phrase “don’t assume anything because assuming makes an ass out of you and me”. However, if you stop what you are doing and look back at things you have said and done, how many times have you passed judgment on someone else with out knowing their story? I hate to admit it, but if I’m being honest I have found myself passing judgment in the past. In fact it took me recently starting over and coming to terms with my past to understand that you NEVER really know everything about a person. I am sure there are plenty of people who read my last post and had NO idea I struggled with a past of abuse. Just like you think you may know someone so well, but maybe you don’t.
Ok, so why am I writing this post? I have recently found myself feeling judged by others close to me, and have struggled with how to move on. At the end of the day I am who I am, and if the people around me can’t accept that… It’s a shame. I am also writing this post in hopes that the next time you go to pass judgment on someone you stop, and remember you NEVER know. This applies to strangers, but it also applies to people you have known your whole life, best friends, parents, brothers/sisters, etc. Just because someone chooses to live their life differently from yours doesn’t mean their way is any less valuable. Just because you don’t understand someone’s point of view doesn’t make it invalid. In fact if we stopped and listened to others, we could gain more perspective than we had before. I am sorry, but no one is perfect, not even you.
If there is anything to take away from this post, please just remember you NEVER know. Your best friend could be struggling with their past and things you don’t know about them. Your sibling could be struggling with not being able to find a job. Your parents could be struggling financially and don’t want their children to know. The person making your coffee today could have recently lost a loved one. You just NEVER know. If you are reading this and find yourself motivated to pay it forward, thank your barista, leave a larger tip than usual, send that encouraging text, or simply smile. Don’t forget that something simple could turn someone’s day around.
What do you do when your boyfriend/husband is being an ass, or the guy you met from your most recent online dating venture is nothing like you thought he would be? What do you do when your life at work is a complete nightmare, or you didn’t get your morning coffee and had to sit in traffic? How about when you see the cutest puppy on Instagram, or you see a girl’s post that use to be hot in high school but now looks like a busted can of cinnamon rolls? If you are anything like me, you pick up your phone and text your closest girlfriends and vent, laugh, cry, or all three simultaneously LOL.
There are many important relationships you will have in life, but what would life be with out girlfriends? It would be HORRIBLE! There have been multiple times in my twenties when the support of my closest girlfriends got me through some of the hardest times, even when I didn’t ask for it. There have also been plenty of girls nights in my life that have been some of the most entertaining times I could ever have asked for. Like that one time I went to the grocery store on Valentines Day (SOLO) and bought three bottles of champagne to be there for one of my best friends when she needed me, the looks I got were priceless! Ladies if I am going to be honest, most men will never understand our friendships with girlfriends but you know you have found a keeper when he accepts you and your crazy friends. For those of you who haven’t found your prince charming, make sure he appreciates your girlfriends before you settle.
I am very fortunate to have friendships that have lasted over a decade, friendships that have become family, and friendships that have grown up and matured as I have. All of my girlfriends are strong, bright, supportive, understanding, fun, beautiful, and a little bat shit crazy (yes, they should have all considered careers as private investigators). You know you will be best friends for life when you hide in bushes with your best friend to see if someone was telling you the truth (we were teenagers). Don’t lie ladies, we are all guilty of doing something crazy for our closest girlfriends. If you haven’t maybe you are normal and the rest of us are just fucking nuts! If there is anything I know for sure, life wouldn’t be as fun with out my friends.
Thank you to all of my close girlfriends who have given me a lifetime of memories to look back at and cherish. Thank you for never passing judgment and always accepting me as I am. Thank you for being you, women that I can admire for all that you have accomplished and can count on for your continued support. I know we are living in different time zones these days, but I am always grateful for you.