The Confessions of A Single Woman

After a few glasses of wine and a much needed FaceTime date with one of my best friends, I was inspired to share my thoughts as a single woman in todays society. Single women in society after a certain age aren’t looked at through the same filter that they are looked at in their early twenties when they had more single friends than they have now. So here is a little insight, since everyone LOVES to give their opinion on what the single women in their lives should do. Before I get started, I do want to say that I appreciate all of my friends love and support, so please don’t take offense to this. I also want to put out a disclaimer that this isn’t necessarily how I feel currently but thoughts I have felt at some point in my time being single. Oh and also remember that I am super sarcastic and it’s not to be confused with bitterness.

  1. Just because I choose to forgo the bullshit of getting ready and choose to enjoy a quiet night snuggled up with my dog and a glass of wine in my favorite PJ’s, doesn’t mean that I’m going to end up alone and become the crazy dog lady. Let’s face it I’m already a crazy dog mom with or with out my relationship status.
  2. I can also offer insight into the opposite of the previous scenario. If I choose to go out and have a good time and drink a little too much, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to settle down or be serious. I am single with nothing tying me down, so if I choose to go out and have a good time it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with me.
  3. Yes, I am an independent woman who has lived on her own and made her own house a home with out a significant other. That doesn’t mean that I have three heads or deserve a special award. Newsflash, living independently and being able to provide for yourself is completely and absolutely NORMAL. I am flattered that you want to pump me up and make me feel good about myself, but sometimes it can feel a little condescending.
  4. If I don’t ask to be set up with anyone DON’T assume I would appreciate you trying to set me up with someone. If I want to date, I will date. Thank you.
  5. I know that I am single; I don’t need to be reminded of it. I am a confident person and don’t have to have a date to feel comfortable hanging out with my friends who are in a relationship or married. I appreciate you caring about my feelings, but I am totally fine attending an event solo.
  6. I know my worth. I have heard the line “You are a great girl and deserve the world, but…” enough times to know that if a guy really wanted to be with me he would do whatever it takes. I don’t need your opinion or life advice to realize this. I know you are just trying to help, but I saw the warning signs before I even decided to tell you.
  7. I can’t magically make a relationship happen. I don’t know when or how I am going to meet the guy I end up with, so please respect that I can’t just pull my dream guy out of a hat and be just like you, happy and in love.

Ill wrap this post up with some advice for people in relationships and happily married couples. Dating these days can be a complete nightmare. There are too many dating apps and ways to put yourself out there that it can make your head spin. So please remember that you haven’t been single in a while and you might not remember what it is like, so before you go offering your opinion, STOP and put yourself back in the single lady shoes you grew out of.

Xoxo,

Your Single Friend

 

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Kentucky Livin… California Dreamin

Every time I have had someone ask where I am from in the last 4 months I have answered honestly with California, and it is instantly followed with confused looks and an over exaggerated “HOW DID YOU END UP IN KENTUCKY?!” response. I never really understood why people made such a big deal of it until the last week and a half. I AM COMPLETELY FROZEN! I am not exaggerating either. The coldest it has been back home is what low 50’s? Yeah well as I am writing this it is currently 15 degrees. This morning I showed an act of true love for Cody (my dog for those who don’t know) when I had to run outside in 13 degree weather barefoot, in sweatpants with only a t-shirt on to open our back door that connects the screened in porch and backyard to let him out to pee because the door that is usually open was closed. To give you some perspective incase you are curious what 15 degree weather is like, I wore wool socks with my UGGS today, and I was still chilled. I now understand why people take tropical vacations in the middle of winter. Incase you can’t tell already, I absolutely 100 percent miss California winters.

I promise I really enjoy Kentucky, but people in Kentucky drive COMPLETELY different than people in California. An upside to driving in Kentucky is that the speed limits are higher here than back in the bay area. The interstate speed limit is 70, and most in town driving is 45-55. HOWEVER, with this people either drive 10 above the speed limit and make you feel like you are driving like a slow poke on the interstate, or they drive 10 below and make you crazy driving in town. Another thing people are notorious for here in Kentucky is running red lights. Not only does one car run a red light, but that car plus the two other cars behind it run the red light. NEVER proceed through an intersection with a green light with out counting to 5.

HAHA.. I was going to start writing about the stuff I enjoy about Kentucky, but I still miss a few things. I miss my favorite food places. In-n- Out, there are literally ZERO words that can tell you how much I miss it. Dutch Bros Coffee, yeah I’d probably kill someone for a mocha freeze or an iced white mocha. I am NOT kidding. I miss good Mexican food, street tacos, and even Murillos (only people back home will understand why). I REALLY miss going directly to the source for my favorite champagne and all of the views, and enjoying a bottle of champagne with best friends. Aside from all of that, I miss all of my friends. This is the time of year I am missing all of the holidays, birthdays, and family functions. I am incredibly lucky to have the support system I have though, I love all of you guys so much!

Now onto the bright side of Kentucky! I have met some great people so far. I have made friends with some down to earth people who have not only introduced me to a local pizza place (I have a serious weakness for good pizza), good beer, ALE- 8 (one of the best sodas ever) and bourbon, but they have accepted me with open arms and haven’t judged me for who I am and which is one out of place Californian. 2016 has been filled with so much change and so many challenges, and I can’t wait to put it behind me, but 2017 is filled with so many opportunities. I have so many great places to visit all with in driving distance. I have the next 8 months to actually LIVE my life and enjoy all that I can before I start another new chapter (I will share more later). One of my best friends, Michelle, is coming to visit at the beginning of the New Year and I can’t wait! SO EXCITED! Another one of my best friends is moving only 4.5 hours away from me and it will be so great to be close to someone from back home. Every day Kentucky starts to feel more and more like home. I know all of that sounds cheesy, cliché, or overly optimistic, but all of that beats anxiety and negativity every time. I hope you enjoyed this one, and I didn’t offend any Kentucky natives in the process.

Xoxo,

Nicole

Life Update

Hey Ya’ll! I know it has been a while since my last blog post, and I am so sorry if you have missed me. Who am I kidding? I am not that popular, lmao! As you can see, my sarcasm hasn’t disappeared. I have been a little busy living my life, but I also haven’t posted anything new because I had a little writer’s block. Then tonight it hit me! I started this blog to put myself out there and share my thoughts. So far I have shared a lot about myself, my past, and where I am in life, but I haven’t talked much about my daily life and what I am up to right now in the present. I haven’t shared much about my daily life because up until a month or two ago there wasn’t much to share, but I have made some progress in my life here in Kentucky and I’m here to share it with you.

So what’s new in life? Well for starters I have adventured out and visited new places. In the last few months I have traveled around parts of the country I hadn’t been to before, with my favorite place so far being Charleston SC. It is a gorgeous city to visit with beautiful architecture, a ton of history, and of course great food. I visited new parts of North Carolina that I hadn’t been to before, and saw first hand the impact of a natural disaster post Hurricane Matthew. I got to venture out locally and find local places to go to for good shopping, food and drinks. I have been able to see the seasons change, and seeing the change from summer to fall was gorgeous in this part of the country and much more dramatic than what I am use to back in California. However I am not looking forward to winter. I keep hearing that the worst is yet to come, but I am excited to see the first snowfall.

Aside from a little traveling and visiting new places, I have finally found not just one job but two jobs! After hundreds of applications and a couple of interviews, I finally found two opportunities. What are these opportunities you wonder? Well, I didn’t completely get out of retail, but I found a great LOCAL small business that specializes in fine men’s apparel. Cuff to Collar has been so much fun, not just because I get to stay close to my retail roots, but because I get to see how a small business operates. I work with some amazing people, and I am so grateful. While Cuff to Collar is a fun part- time job I also have a full time job working as an office assistant for Bluegrass.org. Bluegrass is mental health and substance abuse clinic and the organization provides services in 17 different counties through out Kentucky. Bluegrass has been a completely new experience for me, and so far it has been great to meet a wonderful team of people who have been so welcoming.

So not only have I traveled a little, finally found a job or two, but most exciting of all, I have met new people and made new friends. It has been great to feel like I have made some connections that allow Kentucky to feel more like home than it did when I first got here. Everyone I have become friends with has been so welcoming and truly so much fun to get to know. If any of you are reading this, thank you for being so accepting and supportive!

I know this post has been long so ill wrap it up with some pictures that show my journey from the moment I made my decision to move across the country up until this last weekend. Don’t you worry though, there is plenty left to share about life in Kentucky, the best is yet to come.

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Xoxo,

Nicole